Grief isn't an emotion that I've had much familiarity with.
When my father passed away, I thought I was experiencing grief, but I was actually angry. All my helplessness from the days when he was sick, and the grief and disbelief of his passing, snowballed into anger.
[With lakhs of people passing within a month, it should have been a rage that we collectively felt as a society. ख़ैर, at this time I should just talk about my own experience.]
My friends said that I did all I could given the circumstances. But I was angry at the circumstances. Some relatives suggested that he is in a happier place, given how much he had suffered due to his chronic diseases. I was upset that they should suggest this. I was even upset with my father for not listening in the last few days before he passed, for not cooperating with his caregivers. I had complained loudly to others that he won't listen, even suggesting that it is as if he has a death wish.
I was invited to join whatsapp groups where people expressed their condolences. I was upset at these people - I asked what they'd all done for him while he was living. Had they convinced him to take his medicines? Of course nobody responded, because they could tell I'm angry (which I couldn't, myself). I later came to know that my father had been telling everyone that he is well taken care of, that he is recovering. So what could they do 🤷🏽♂️?
Some persona non gratas thought that this would be a good time to slide into my DMs, comment on my wall, or come see me in person. Some of them, I ignored. Others, who persisted, got a piece of my mind. After all, if you couldn't be nice to man when he was alive, why bother with empty condolences now that he is gone?
We learn to control and channel our emotions (That's what being an adult is largely about, I believe.) And then, suddenly, an event like this takes place, filling us with grief and anger so our cup of emotions overflows. Our delicate balance collapses. It is simultaneously humiliating and liberating to be temporally controlled by your emotions. For your amygdala to take over from your logical, balanced, conscious mind.
Anyway. I look back now with fondness at all the good souls that held me through that tumult. Really separated the wheat from the chaff, it did. You know who you all are 🤗
Two years ago we were right here, at Batseri. We camped (https://www.instagram.com/p/ByjLCIaJXd_/) next to this very bridge that you see destroyed in this video.
Yes, it is scary. The mountains are dangerous - there is no denying this fact. Landslides, cloud bursts, falling rocks are common. If you can, you must avoid traveling in the mountains in the rainy season. If you do go, have a lot of patience. Sometimes falling rocks block roads and one must turn around and wait for days or weeks for things to clear up.
I hope those of my friends who are in Himachal and the higher reaches of Uttarakhand right now are safe.
With mRNA vaccines saving our collective asses from Covid-19, and climate change wrecking our food supply, will the public's hesitance towards RNA/DNA manipulated crops soon melt away.
Also, China (or rather the Chinese) marching ahead in cutting edge research. CSIR and Indian universities still haven't gotten their plot together, still focusing on number of publications in third grade journals rather than actual productive research.
99‰+ of Covid hospitalisations and deaths in the US now are of unvaccinated individuals.
If your friend is spreading FUD (fear uncertainty doubt) about Covid vaccines, then your friend wants you dead. There is no other conclusion to be made.
(If your friend believes in a global conspiracy by big pharma that involves the suppression of Covid vaccination related deaths that outnumber Covid infection related deaths - then that individual needs help. The same kind of help that moon landing deniers and flat Earthers need.)
For those of you who appreciate my bird pics... this is what I call fine bird photography. There needs to be action. So far I've figured out how to capture stills. I'm yet to take a single decent pic of a bird in flight. But slowly and steadily, I shall get there.
(If you're passionate about something, the easiest thing to do these days is to follow pages on FB and hashtags on Insta. First the inspiration comes to you. Slowly you muster courage to start asking questions, and then the gyan and the mentors also come to you. After that it's all hard work.)
Sunil is one of the lakhs of people in our country, who are obsessed with rural and forest life. Their degree of obsession varies, and so does their activism and reach. In order to preserve ways of life that have existed for centuries, these people become ecologists, archeologists, organic farmers, anthropologists, zoologists, botanists, ornithologists, arborists and what not.
Sunil's love for documenting everything Mangar Bani, and shouting from the rooftops about it, led to someone noticing that the rock art of Mangar Bani is prehistoric. Now the area will be preserved.
I wish equal success to others like Sunil, in discovering facets about their way of life that the urban Indian sarkar cares enough about to protect. And more power to citizen movements such as Aravalli Bachao, that support people like Sunil.
"From another era", said she, while sharing this pic with me.
"Spent so much money here. For love ❤️," said I.
I still remember conversations verbatim, from when long distance communication was a luxury. These days its all just a blur, a flurry of messages and images.
एक वक़्त था जब supermarket में कोई व्यक्ति आपसे over friendly हो कर बात करने लगता था तो आप पूछ लेते थे कि भाई MLM वाले तो नहीं हो। छात्र, डाक्टर, दोस्त - करीब बीस साल पहले एक ऐसा समय था जब MLM ने किसी को ना छोड़ा।
आज आप social media पर किसी को follow करने लगो, उनकी दो-चार post सराहो, तो रातों रात वो influencer बन जाते हैं। जिनके खुद के दूध के दांत ना टूटे हों, वो अपनी हर दूसरी post में Country Delight का दूध बेचते नज़र आते हैं।
छात्र, डाक्टर, दोस्त - social media पर हर कोई salesman.
And surprise surprise. The secretary incharge is no other than Ashok Khemka. He is gonna notify the entire Mangar Bani as an archeological site and protect it.
उस आदमी का बस चले तो पूरे अरावली को protected site बना दे।
"It is raining in Gurgaon I think. The cupcakes have metamorphosed into samosas now." ~ message from a neighbour who is on travel.
("cupcakes" is the moniker I've given to folks who stay eternally happy through lockdowns - baking cupcakes, whipping coffee, and exploding with joy on WhatsApp groups.)
"Tell him you are the responsible adult in the company. If he has questions he should go to you." ~me to our CEO, when passing a query/request on to him.
When I started Thinvent in 2007, I had a problem. Even though I had a business partner and we gradually built a team, customers and partners would still come only to me when they had queries, or wanted something done.
I haven't attended a startup event in almost a decade, but back in the day I used to. In one of those events I posed this problem to Gururaj Deshpande. He told me to go find people who care about our customers more than me, for then the customers would go to them not me. I told him that would be impossible. He said that our job as entrepreneurs was to first build a team of people more capable than us.
Much water has flown down the Kaveri since then. And almost everybody knows the people to go to if they need work done at Thinvent. People such as our CEO, one of the "responsible adults" in the family.
But old friends from 2007 and before still depend on me sometimes. In vain. ;-)
Kusum told me yesterday about the Lotus pond that has recently been "discovered" in the Leopard Pond/Trail area. I've seen photos before, of this pond, on the walls of Sarika, Jyoti and others.
Would anyone please let me into the secret? I promise to not disclose the location to anyone, thus ruining the place. I will quietly go and take some pictures.
Maybe I can take pictures of your pet or child or plant in return.
We were lucky to come across a hoard of birds and animals, clustered around the foliage under a tree. I suppose an animal had died there, and they were all having a morning feast. We saw what we thought was a dog, but @upcycling.artist identified to be a jackal. What luck!
This Indian Robin flitted about for a very long time, from branch to branch, tree to tree, with its catch in its mouth. Was it trying to impress someone?
The question came up during a late evening stroll with a professor friend. I had no answer.
Later, as I sat on the throne nursing an upset stomach, the answer came to me. Coelho is popular in India because so are Chetan Bhagat and Ayn Rand.
Indians like to read shallow books. Young Adult literature is being devoured by people in their late 20s and 30s.
The black and white characters of Rand, the pop philosophy of Coelho and Robin Sharma. Plot, conclusion and moral, all pre processed, just like our NCERT textbooks. Why, then, would you grapple with Nietzsche, or have your thoughts provoked by The Little Prince?
So, Nilay is doing a gig for Mitali, and took a call from her just now, in the middle of Kavin's birthday dinner. On returning he declared that he needs to get some stuff done by 10am.
This summer, find your wastrel an achiever to work under. She'll make something out of him.
