The unique thing about our strong leadership is that everything is done by surprise. Surprise, new rules. Surprise! Rules gone.
So I am taking a leaf out of our leader's playbook. In future, I will practice surprise parenting.
Me: Surprise, I got you guys ten pairs of orange underwear.
M1: Why ten?
M2: Why orange?
M1: Why underwear?
Me: Why so many questions? I love you guys. This is in your best interest.
M2: You know we are growing, right? We need new sizes frequently. Did you get ten of the same size?
Me: Umm, I do not have information about the underwear sizes.
M1: You did order them yourself, right?
Me: Look, they're orange. That way you'll draw attention to yourself. Road safety!
M2: Dad, that's not how underwear work. They are not supposed to attract attention.
Me: Why so negative? So much criticism. Can't a man get some work done around here.
M1: Dad, you're a fixed income kind of guy. If you're buying us ten undies now, you're going to cut on some other expense later.
Later that week...
Me: Surprise. I returned all of those underwear. Problem solved.
M1: Dad, they're underwear. They're not returnable. What did you do with them?
M2: All ten? We could have used, like, two.
Me: That's it. You're terrorists, both of you. You don't get to wear underwear any more.
M1 to M2: Can he really stop us from wearing underwear?
M2 to M1: Nope. I don't think he can. But you don't wanna tell him that and piss him off right now.
M1 to me: Dad, we are going to vote on this. You can't just decide for us.
Me: Yeah, voting is in ten days. But I have more votes than you guys, so I've already announced my decision.
Them: 🤷🏽♂️
Me: If you'd respected my authority, instead of arguing and wanting to participate in the decision-making, you'd have had an abundance of clothes. Now you're naked and it's your fault.
(Wrote it this afternoon because I was bored writing a technical document all morning)
So I am taking a leaf out of our leader's playbook. In future, I will practice surprise parenting.
Me: Surprise, I got you guys ten pairs of orange underwear.
M1: Why ten?
M2: Why orange?
M1: Why underwear?
Me: Why so many questions? I love you guys. This is in your best interest.
M2: You know we are growing, right? We need new sizes frequently. Did you get ten of the same size?
Me: Umm, I do not have information about the underwear sizes.
M1: You did order them yourself, right?
Me: Look, they're orange. That way you'll draw attention to yourself. Road safety!
M2: Dad, that's not how underwear work. They are not supposed to attract attention.
Me: Why so negative? So much criticism. Can't a man get some work done around here.
M1: Dad, you're a fixed income kind of guy. If you're buying us ten undies now, you're going to cut on some other expense later.
Later that week...
Me: Surprise. I returned all of those underwear. Problem solved.
M1: Dad, they're underwear. They're not returnable. What did you do with them?
M2: All ten? We could have used, like, two.
Me: That's it. You're terrorists, both of you. You don't get to wear underwear any more.
M1 to M2: Can he really stop us from wearing underwear?
M2 to M1: Nope. I don't think he can. But you don't wanna tell him that and piss him off right now.
M1 to me: Dad, we are going to vote on this. You can't just decide for us.
Me: Yeah, voting is in ten days. But I have more votes than you guys, so I've already announced my decision.
Them: 🤷🏽♂️
Me: If you'd respected my authority, instead of arguing and wanting to participate in the decision-making, you'd have had an abundance of clothes. Now you're naked and it's your fault.
(Wrote it this afternoon because I was bored writing a technical document all morning)