Nilay: When we went to Barefoot, there was this guy, your friend Tarun's friend. Any time someone squeezed his belly, he let out a toot.

Me: You squeezed Nethaniel's belly 😮

Nilay: No, other people did it and he farted.

Me: And I needed to know this at bedtime?

In other news, people stop meeting my kids, because they record every embarrassing detail, and relay them to me after half a decade.