I just did what I would never, ever in my wildest dreams have imagined possible. I walked through an entire 15th century fort, at 2am in the night, all by myself, with not a soul in sight. It is every bit as dramatic as it sounds. You should hear this.

On Thursday, I and the kids escaped Delhi's pollution by driving south (we left exhaust fumes in our wake, which is bad, but anyhow). Carefully studying NASA's aerosol map and AQICN's real time readings, we found our sweet spots - Neemrana and Sariska.

Friday afternoon, hunting for deals on Cleartrip, I found a rather affordable room at the Neemrana Fort Palace. Pleasantly surprised, I quickly booked and drove up. Turns out that Cleartrip booked a single room with a single bed for me and the two kids. The hotel was courteous enough to let us in despite.

The place is fabulous (pic attached). Picturesque views. Pollution levels are well within control. (Yes, I carry a homemade pollution meter wherever I go. I like to think of myself as Indiana Jones, PM counter in hand, hunting for the best place for my children to breathe in the open air and enjoy the sun.) Nilay hasn't coughed the whole day. Awesome.

At night, I tuck the kids in, then wear a mask and dutifully clean the room's airconditioner of dust. (I think I might be getting a little obsessive about pollution. I know a few parents whose kids have juvenile diabetes or food allergies. Let's just say I'm not there yet.)

At one a.m., there are noises in the room. I am at the highest floor of a fifteenth century fort. Everything about this place is ancient and spooky. And something's knocking things about. I get up and investigate (Usually, this is the part in the horror/suspense movie where I'm yelling at the protagonist - don't poke around, just run for your goddamn life). I find nothing.

Two a.m., the noises are still there. Get up, poke around, and a rat rushes past. Big, but not a bandicoot.

Since there is just one bed in the room, some of us are on the floor in a sleeping bag. (Yes, I came to the lap of luxury and slept in a bag. You can put it down in my obituary.) A rat will not do. I'm worried.

I call every number in the hotel directory. No response.

This is when the parenting adrenalin kicks in. I put on my pants, secure the kids, and step out to find someone who can fix this.

Now, if you've ever been in a fort, you know that the rooms aren't arranged in a sequence. There is no method to the madness that is a fort, as the kids and I were discussing earlier today. It's all about confusing the heck out of any adversary or spy that dare get inside.

So I'm walking on the ramparts. Walking down congested, dimly lit stairs. Floor after floor, wing after wing, turn after turn. There is simply no one in sight.

And then there is this long corridor. And there are people standing on both sides. Except, wooden people. With weird faces. Weapons and other random shit in hand.

I did not invoke God. I left God behind in the dark, banyan tree lined streets of IIT Madras and I did not have to find him again tonight.

Longest corridor of my life. Even when I've spent a summer living and working at the two ends of MIT's Infinite Corridor.

Now I am out in the open. It's dark. And the floor is rocks. It hurts through my bathroom slippers, so I can't even run.

I am the guy who, for most of his life, could not walk across a dark room to pee in the night. And I am doing this.

At the entrance, humanity was found and woken up. Post investigation, said human decided to simply move us to a much bigger, far spookier room.

Now I'm sitting next to this larger than life bust of a guy, writing this post. The bust has no head, arms or legs. Who lives in a place like this? Who designs places like these? And why am I even here?

Oh, here is your reward for reading this long post. A pic of the kids :-)